Unthinkable becomes Real

In my down time at work I always keep pentagonchannel.mil up to keep me updated with news going on in each branch of the military and in the Pentagon. Wandering around the site I came across a page where soldiers who were seriously injured during war were returning to active duty. Inspired, I decided to read a few of their stories only to be extremely pissed off at the first story I read.

A soldier’s truck was struck with an IED the first few months of war and after the IED shattered, instead of exploding, sending pieces all through his body the soldier’s left eye was destroyed and top of his mouth, and there was no bone between his knee and ankle.

This soldier stated that he “spent 27 years looking the other way from the same population that I was now a part of -- the disabled population.”

We all know that I am not disabled… well noticeably disabled. I do not have to face people judging me on looks or staring at me because I am different. Looking at me, a person cannot tell that I have many things wrong that qualify me to be disabled. Comments and jokes are just as harmful as staring.

I have asthma, a heart condition (low blood pressure), brain damage and now seizures from the nerve damage. I am fortunate that people cannot see that there is anything wrong with me. But think about when people make jokes about people having seizures. It is hard to explain but I am sure we all know someone who thinks it is funny when they make a joke about seizures. Sure people laugh and they became the comedian of the group--- but what about the person who is sitting there not laughing because they do have seizures. How does one stand up and say stop because I have seizures? How does one say I would love to defend the country but I can’t?

Many times I have expressed to people that I would love to join the military but I can’t. When the question is asked why I reply I have asthma. In response I get, “well I have several friends who have asthma and got in.” That may be true, but I am not going to lie to the country I want to defend. People who have asthma and are enlisting are stating on paper work that they do not have asthma. Yes, I could to that too but secretly I am hiding that I have a heart condition and a brain injury and seizures. How could I lie about all of that just to enlist? Sure I wanted to sacrifice my life for my country, but it is not worth sacrificing my life to try to join. Doing that would make me completely useless to in life.

So why was I so mad at the soldier who tried avoiding the disabled population?

What the soldier failed to realize his whole life was that a lot of people who are disabled do not pick to be disabled. He enlisted in the military knowing the chances of going to war. He knew the chances of something going wrong. The chances of getting hurt. I respect him for defending his country and I feel sorry for him for the struggles and obstacles he has had to overcome, but in a way deep inside he basically picked a chance to be disabled. He never realized that not all people pick to be.

I didn’t pick to have my blood pressure drop and pass out hitting head on a concrete floor. I didn’t pick to go through testing to find out why ending up being diagnosed with asthma. I didn’t pick to live with severe headaches or to receive shots in my head to relieve them. I didn’t pick to have seizures or to continue to pass out if I do not take medicine everyday for the rest of my life.

No one picks to be disabled. No one should be avoided because of something they cannot change. People do not realize how fast your life can change and how quick you can go from the person avoiding or laughing at those who are different to a person who is different just by doing daily things like: driving a car, working (in this case fighting a war), getting hit in the head etc. Big or small—it is still a disability and someone has to learn to live with it.

The soldier I read about is lucky. After all his struggles and fight for his life he gets to return to active duty. Of course he will not get to be on the front line, but he will still get to serve his country by staying with the Army. He also gained a new perspective for people who have disabilities now that he has suffered one himself.

Jealous but Proud: I am jealous that he gets to still serve. Since his injuries all happened after he enlisted he is allowed to. But, since all mine occurred before I signed the papers, I am not allowed to. I am proud that he has learned that although people are different we are still people. And I hope one day he will realize that at least he still gets to fulfill his dreams (Army) without and with a disability; whereas, others will always have those dreams but have to find other ways to fill them.