Faith

They say college is the years in your life that you are allowed to make bad choices and experiment because after you graduate it's off to the real world.

For me, college has definitely had its ups and downs. There are plenty of moments that I never want to forget, but there are quiet a few that I wish never happened.

My sophomore year was my "crazy" year in college and although it could of been far worse, I am still not proud of it nor do I admit to a lot of the things that happened.

For the longest time I lived my life with no regrets. I never felt like anything was a mistake or regret, just simply a lesson in life. And a something that made me, me.

I am a believer in God. And I believe that if you ask for forgiveness then you shall receive it.

But for some reason I struggled with this idea every time I asked for forgiveness. God has always been there and I knew He was forgiving me, but inside I didn't understand why he would forgive sins like mine.

I have always lived with a huge guilt inside of me. No matter how much I prayed, I honestly didn't feel forgiven.

I can't honestly say what happened between sophomore and junior year, but I changed. I grew up.

I distanced myself from my friends for a semester. When they realized my change, they walked away from me. I did my thing and they did theirs.

I continued to lean on God-- still working on seeking full forgiveness for my past.

I soon realized what I wanted out of life, what my priorities in life were and how I constantly changed myself to please others in many aspects of my life and I didn't want to anymore.

Overtime, I realized that all along God had forgiven me, but I had not forgiven myself. Until I did I would constantly live with the guilt and unwanted memories.

I have learned to let go of the choices I have made in the past. I know that I can't go back and change them, and I've realized that the past is full of "lessons." However, I am now honest with myself and admit that I regret some of it.

I now have my friends back and know that I can still do some of the old things I use to without all the bad decisions that came along. I have also made new friends within the time period and they have impacted my life a lot.

In many ways I live my life more to God these days. I pray more. Put more in His hands. And know that there is a reason to every situation I am in-- and in time I will no the reason. Faith has been my savor.

"Everyday God gives a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us happy. The magical instant is the moment during which a yes or no can change our entire existence."